Information Gleaned from the Annals of Counseling Psychology
We must understand how behavior really works, especially if we intend to be happy in our relationships. Remember, when a receiver in football gets tackled, he doesn’t complain and say, ‘god dammit, you pummeled me. I don’t deserve to be hit like that.’ Rather, he accepts it because that’s just the game.
We should see that in our day-to-day lives as well: When people hurt us, that’s just who they are. People behave as they are, not as we are; don’t quickly judge them. Just accept them like you might accept a tree, cat or that football player. That’s just how some people are, and that’s what we’re going to get.
For psychological well-being, it’s crucial to accept the world as it really is and to work with how things really are.
It is important to feel a certain level of detachment. It’s about accepting that this is nature itself. The Existentialists have a word, facticity. This is the way that the universe is, these are the laws that govern all behavior. Look at people with some mental distance, expand your perspective. Approach life, including your relationships, with a little detachment. Doing so will make you happier and also more successful.
Commit to being a good person, honest and fair. However, it’s naive to assume that others will behave the same way. Unfortunately, many people can be greedy, selfish, critical and insulting.
It’s essential, therefore, that we understand these realities and their effects on all of us in order to defend ourselves from their effects. After all, when we have important work to do, these same realities will exist and present a continuing resistance.
Don’t take it personally. Don’t let it upset or discourage you. Learn how to navigate around it, how to use this resistance against itself, how to recognize those small-minded people and their natural impulses.
Your integrity, compassion, ability to accept non-judgmentally and your character may be important to you , but not everyone else agrees. In fact, people like you are probably in the minority. So remember the realities and live happier.
(This article contained some information from The Daily Stoic)
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